In building strong relationships, we need to remember that people have a primordial desire to be heard, understood and acknowledged.
Currently, 85% of jobs are filled through relationships and employees with friends at work will be more attached to the company. A strong working relationship is the key to helping you move forward and have more advancement opportunities. However, creating relationships seems to be a fast-changing unwritten rule that always keeps you cultivated. Whether you are a graduate student or a seasoned expert, we want to help you improve your relationship.
Below is a career challenge series “Building a stronger relationship in 15 days.”
Day # 4: Improve your communication skills
When I was working for the company, I participated in many forms of communication – presentations, event planning, developing plans, bringing new news and other writing jobs. At that time, I thought I was a person with good communication skills. But sometimes, I got into conflicts and disagreements that hurt me. Usually, I believe it is someone else’s fault.
Until I studied the art of communication and the dynamics of marriage and the family, I realized that successful communication comes from each person’s purpose and beliefs, often subconsciously. I realized that the more we can control our emotions, ego and purpose, the stronger the relationships will be.
This awareness helps us build important connections and positive relationships with the people who matter most to us, be it bosses, leaders, colleagues, friends or people. love.
Based on helpful communication principles, here are three main ways to improve your communication skills so that you can inspire, connect strongly with others and achieve the desired results.
3 ways to improve communication skills help build better relationships:
Listen with a willingness to change
Recently, Chad Littlefield, co-founded We! Share 1 quote from my favorite actor and trainer Alan Alda in my podcast Finding Brave.
Alda said: “I discovered that the difference between listening and pretending to listen is great. One is liquid, the other is solid. After all, I find that listening is really available. When I am ready for others to change me, something that happens between us is more interesting than the two of us talking monologically. “
If we apply this principle to today’s conversations in the workplace, at meetings or at dinner with our families, we will see clearly that most of us never listen, but simply wait the other person stops talking so he can discuss his personal point.
Much of our opinion is inaccessible. They are invincible based on our prejudice and judgment. Certainly I also made this mistake, but I learned to stop myself before I started pretending to listen to someone. For example, in a chat with a friend there are many different political views. When I found myself feeling frustrated with his perspective, I stopped and wondered: “What is my intention? Am I open enough to be influenced by what he said? I am quiet listen to learn and connect or to make understanding and information. “
Once I open my heart to listen with a willingness to change, the dialogue becomes different and more positive. Doesn’t mean that a simple conversation can change your hard-earned beliefs, but it’s comfortable to be open to respect and behave better than someone who doesn’t have the same opinion.
As Littlefield explained, when we listen with more curiosity and respect with the intention of connecting with others, then the connection between people will grow.
Before you make a point about something, make sure it is valid
In one study, there was a finding that sexual orientation was related to being strong and assertive about the views between men and women. Research shows a clear and indisputable trend for strong and assertive women compared to strong men. Research shows that women’s cognitive capacity is reduced by 35% and their perceived value decreases by $ 15,088 when they are considered strong. Compared with the decline in men’s cognitive ability (22%) and cognitive value ($ 6,547), we see a clear gender bias.
As part of the research, an experiment was also conducted to see whether to use the short sample sentence (allowing the speaker to explain his intent before sharing the content and prove that they did not lose control. emotions) can reduce backlash.
This experiment shows that these short sentences can reduce overreaction to 27% – allowing both men and women to consciously voice their opinions with the least intense reaction in the workplace. .
The main point here is if you want to be heard and create strong connections with your listeners, consider making a statement that brings core values (honest, upright, clean, transparent, religious important, …) to frame your words, let you listen in a way that will bring about a more positive effect.
Understand the listener, speak according to their needs and thinking
Third, at work, I found that to create a respectful and trusting relationship, my customers must feel that I understand them. If I judge myself or be aloof, I will lose them. But if I can prove that I understand them, I appreciate this relationship and sympathize with them, the link between us will grow. If I fail to win that trust, the relationship will collapse.
In building strong relationships, we need to remember that people have a primordial desire to be heard, understood and acknowledged. The more we need to satisfy that desire in a relationship, the stronger the relationship will be.
Above all, to build a strong relationship, we need to create a safe, reliable space by:
Reflect on what you are listening to by sharing the speaker’s emotional and experience summaries. With your friend sharing how bad his father is with dementia, you should say: “Oh, Tim, I know it’s hard for you at the moment when facing the declining health of your father, and it’s hard to calculate the next step. “
This helps the listener feel you understand deeply what he or she has to go through.
Do not ask why.
Instead of asking “why?” When you are trying to understand someone’s thinking, ask “how” and “what”. “Why” immediately takes listeners into a defensive position and makes them feel they need to justify their words and feelings.
For example, imagine you want to understand why the staff gave a random study data that is not suitable for the project during the meeting. Instead of saying “Why did you bring this out?” or “Why is it so important that we have to consider it?” Which one sounds more challenging, you can say: “An interesting finding. How does it relate to the project we are working on?”
Feel free to share ideas to keep the relationship strong.
Finally, when you are really stuck with a colleague or friend but don’t want to cut off the relationship, you have a number of options like sharing anger or not believing what they did and / or expressing. Your opinion to keep those relationships.
Tell the other party, no matter how far away you are, you are committed to not leaving this relationship, which will help motivate them to get things done.
For example, in case your parents are angry about something you say makes them feel hurt (but you feel hurt by their judgment), you can say something like, ” Mom, I understand your point of view, what I said may hurt you, I don’t mean to do that, and I’m sorry about that. each other and overcome this? “
Finally, the more insight you have about the listener’s point of view, the more sympathetic, respectful, and caring about how much you associate with others, your relationships will become strong and satisfied that much.