In romantic relationships, studies have found that using the phone while being together can reduce beliefs and are hard to feel close to.
Currently, 85% of jobs are filled through relationships and employees with friends at work will be more attached to the company. A strong working relationship is the key to helping you move forward and have more advancement opportunities. However, creating relationships seems to be a fast-changing unwritten rule that always keeps you cultivated. Whether you are a graduate student or a seasoned expert, we want to help you improve your relationship.
Below is a career challenge series “Building a stronger relationship in 15 days.”
Day # 3: Improve your emotional intelligence (EQ) to develop better relationships
In 1990, professors Peter Salovey and John Mayer published their work on emotional intelligence (EQ). This concept was later popularized by Daniel Goleman, the author of Emotional Intelligence: Why is it more important than the best-selling IQ in 1996?
Since then, EQ has become a major topic in the group of leaders, training companies and human resource seminars. There is a lot of evidence to prove that EQ has a great impact on job performance. Employees who have larger EQ are more productive at work, have relationships, experience better psychology and healthier physicals.
Salovey and Mayer’s emotional intelligence model has four parts:
- Identify the feelings of yourself and others.
- Use emotions to simplify thinking.
- Understand emotions, emotional language and signals conveyed by emotion.
- Controlling emotions to achieve specific goals.
Over the years, studies have found that EQ can be learned and EQ training has become a billion-dollar industry. But you don’t have to participate in a formal training program to develop EQ. Here are 7 ways to help you improve EQ today:
Limit the use of electronic equipment
Spending too much time on electronic devices can reduce your relationships. For example, in romantic relationships, studies have found that using the phone while being together can reduce beliefs and are hard to feel close to.
Some studies also show that watching too many electronic devices on the screen also affects an individual’s ability to read emotions, an important component for EQ.
A 2014 study found that people who spent 5 days on outdoor camping without access to digital devices significantly improved their ability to read emotions. Only 5 days without electronic devices, no need to attend any training, can also help them improve their understanding of nonverbal emotional cues.
Therefore, you should set a limit on the time to use the technology. Put your phone away when talking directly to people. Set a time to ban the use of the phone during the day, for example lunchtime, before bedtime and the first hour after you wake up.
Review the implementation of electronic device cessation. Going somewhere a few days without electronic devices, you will see the magic of other people’s ability to read emotions.
Identify your emotions
Although our emotions affect every decision we make, we often rarely talk about emotions. In fact, many people feel more comfortable saying “I’m choking in my throat.” or “I feel restless” rather than actually saying that they feel sad or worried.
Practice identifies your emotions with words that show true feelings, such as frustration, despair and anxiety. You don’t have to tell people how you feel, it’s important to consider yourself a few times a day so you can see how you’re feeling.
Control your emotions
Once you know your emotions, think about how those emotions affect your thoughts and behavior. If you feel sad, you will underestimate your own chance of success and will soon give in to a negotiation because you are afraid you will not be able to handle the denial.
Similarly, if you feel excited about an opportunity, you may be overestimating your chances of success. You may be at risk without considering the potential limitations or consequences.
Knowing how emotions are affecting you can help you make better decisions. When you realize how emotions affect negotiations, you will be better equipped to make decisions based on the balance between logic and emotions.
Determine if your feelings are friends or enemies
Feelings are not positive or negative. Every emotion is useful or useless at different times.
Once you know how you are feeling, see if that emotion is you or the enemy in that moment. Anger can be you if you stand up for justice. However, it can also be an enemy in case you are discussing with your boss.
Sadness can be helpful because it reminds you to appreciate things that did not belong to you. But it can also be a vengeance to intervene in motivation to achieve something.
When you realize that sadness is an enemy, adjust it. Meditation for a few minutes can help you calm down, walking around can help you cheer up. Testing a few emotional coping strategies to help you manage your emotions